18 month-old Golden Retriever CHEAP! (Part 2)

18 month-old Golden Retriever CHEAP! (Part 2)
by Merlajean Gartland

She is the perfect dog if you can live with the following:

You can’t leave her in the yard alone because:
--She will chew all the branches off of the bushes in the front yard and then do it again when you’ve replaced them with new bushes.
--She will incessantly bark at anything that looks different: the garbage can is at the end of the drive way, the sprinkler is on, the neighbor’s sprinkler is on.
--If the battery to the electric fence dies, she will sense it immediately and take off on a tour of your neighbor's back yards, gardens and garages.
--She will dig.

If you take her to Obedience School:
--She will behave marvelously at home when you have food. If you are not inside your own house or do not have food, she will look at you like you’re speaking Greek.
--She will follow no commands while at class. She will just bark, bark, and bark to let you know that she wants to play with the other (good) dogs.
--You can never leave a door open in the house or she will retrieve your underwear from the bedroom closet , pictures from your night stand, your computer mouse from the office, brushes/sponges from the laundry room.

A good dog is a tired dog, but:
--You cannot take her down to the lake to swim because, after fetching the stick only once, she will hunt for dead fish, which she will give a few chomps on and then swallow whole before you have a chance to get it away from her. Or roll in it.
--You cannot take her to the park to play fetch because, after retrieving the ball only once, she will run off chasing bunnies, which, if she catches one (and she will) she will treat it the same way she treats dead fish.
-- You can never hold on to her leash as you bike because she will get spooked when a bag blows across the road and put on her brakes, which means you’ll get a ride to the Emergency Room in an ambulance.

If you let her sleep on the floor of your bedroom, you will wake up each and every morning to find her in bed with you.

Bidding starts today with an opening bid of $1.00. Bidding ends 12/31/2024.
No refunds. No returns.

Contact me at: mj@mjpuppet.com

(PS: The next time I get a pet, it’s going to be a minnow.)